Same same, but different

Bangkok is not the place I wanted to be, it is not the place I wanted it to be.

This is of my own doing, the classic "it's not you, it's me" situation.

Bangkok is a gleaming metropolis. Massive, swollen with people, sprawling and chaotic. Typically, this would 100% be my jam.

But Saigon has soured Bangkok for me ... for Bangkok is not Saigon. It’s too modern, too glitzy, too commercial, too touristic. Everyone wants to sell you something: a massage, weed, trinkets. It’s everywhere and it’s all the time. I’m not sure I’ve been anywhere that is as full-on and in your face with it.

Wide streets, flashing lights, massive nine-story malls. Oh man, the malls! They are huge, and EVERYWHERE. I get it, it’s hot out, go shopping inside. But how does this city support so many malls, and of such extraordinary size?

It’s also not as inexpensive as I remembered it to be. Again, this is likely more about how insanely cheap Vietnam is. On the whole, it IS inexpensive, but you have to work harder to find cheap, local street foods than in Saigon. We’re talking a difference of a dollar or two, so I’m really splitting hairs.

I have been wandering and wandering, desperately trying to find a pocket of normal, local life. I’ve been down busy roads and quiet alleys. I can’t seem to find what I'm looking for.

This isn’t to say I’m not enjoying myself. It’s good fun … for a while. But then I want to find a street stall to sit next to and have a bowl of noodles.

Still, Bangkok found ways of catching me off guard. I explore cities through their coffee shops. It's become my way of understanding a place. This habit has led to many serendipitous moments. One morning, I settled into one of my favorites, Gallery Drip. I looked up from my cup and realized I was sitting in the lobby of the exquisite Bangkok Art & Culture Centre. Two delightful cups of local Thai coffee later, I found myself exploring all six floors of exhibits.

There was a contemporary section showcasing modern and contemporary Thai artists. But my personal favorite was an exhibition of photographs showing King Chulalongkorn as he traveled around Thailand during the height of colonial expansion in the late 1800s. A fantastic glimpse into the life of a revered figure in Thai history.

I live for these moments, stumbling into something beautiful when I wasn't even looking for it.

Quick sidebar on the human condition, and why travel is so important.

Throughout my month in the city, I bounced between neighborhoods, convinced the next one would reveal the "real" Bangkok. The final place was awkwardly located, but walkable from my current place ... or so I thought. I ended up hopelessly lost trying to find my new accommodation.

Adrift in a maze of small streets and alleyways, I found myself in a less-than-glamous part of town. I wasn’t afraid, but I wasn’t comfortable either. A man saw me and clearly knew I was lost. He smiled, waved, and said hello. I instantly felt at ease.

After passing him, I stopped and apprehensively went back to ask for help. He pointed me to a hidden path I could take.

So I walked down it. The pathway was narrow, dark and sketchy. Had he just lured me into a trap of some kind? My heart beat through my chest. I could feel my pulse in my throat. Then I emerged on the other side, and the warmth of the sun eased my fears.

That's when I noticed him. He was there on his scooter with his wife and son in tow. They smiled, waved and pointed down the street.

So I walked that direction. A moment later, I saw my hostel come into view. I turned, bowed and said thank you. He smiled, then drove off.

This is the human experience to me. People helping people. In a world full of cynicism and mistrust, this was a reminder that the world is overwhelmingly kind.

This timely reminder is why I travel. To have these small experiences. These moments that wash away the mistrust with love and empathy.

This was the "real" Bangkok.

If it feels like this is a shorter post, that's because it is. While things were starting to look up, I was still trying to pull myself completely from my shadows. It felt good to be somewhere new and different, even if I was comparing it to Saigon at every turn.

Bangkok was never where I planned to be, and for much of my time, I fought against it. Yet the longer I stayed, the more the veneer of glitz and glam fell away, and this city revealed its true self to me. By the end, the little moments, like the ones above, had written an entire story in my heart.

My head and heart again basked in the light. I had made my way out of a low once again.

With this renewed sense of self, I boarded a flight towards my next great adventure.